That Hideous smile…

Here I sit with a pen in hand
I’m supposed to write
I’m supposed to draw
A world of pictures
Red and blue
When all I’m left with
Is a hideous smile
To carry all the way through
 

I have no reason
Nothing to hide
Nothing to say
Yet all I pray
Is for my heart to act strong
To give me the strength to carry on
Also what holds me here
When life is blue
Is a hideous smile
To carry all the way through

You knew me enough
You knew me well
You knew how I stood
You knew how I fell
Though when I searched
In light and dark
No where could I find
Any ray of hope
Like Noah’s Ark
I pushed you away
Willingly and joyfully
Though my life was blue
What I kept with myself
Is a hideous smile
To carry all the way through

Today when I sit here
With no one near
I know I ran away
Leaving the world behind
Leaving all that I had
Or all that I could
Today I have fallen
On my face
I know my time’s up
With all my bruises turning blue
Yet all I have is still there
That hideous smile
That I carried all the way through..!!

I Don't Wanna Feel It Again..

Here comes the night
Dark and silent
Enclosed are secrets
Fears and pain
I don't wanna feel it again..!!

 

Days have passed
Months and years are through now
I remember everything
Every word every vow
Somehow somewhere
Surfaces again the pain
I don't wanna feel it again..!!

 

I stare the world in the face
I still walk ahead
Am running ahead in this race
I crossed the hurdles
Scratched my knees
Never felt the blood
But as I sit on my window pane
I don't wanna feel it again..!!

 

I wish I could go back in time
Write my story again
Delete every bit of yours
Never to feel your presence again
I just don't wanna feel it again..!!

 

Days go by as they come
Life turns its pages
Like it has been doing for ages
What kills me is the fear
That it would surface again
 I just don't wanna feel it again..!!